Funny excerpts from ClientsFromHell.net

"The dog on the homepage isn’t sexy enough. Find me a sexy dog."
 ***

Missing the point.
Client: “The ‘V’ is too pointy. Can we get a ‘V’ that isn’t pointy?”
Me: “An un-pointy ‘V’ may start to look like a ‘U’…”
Client: “We don’t want a ‘U’. We want a ‘V’ that doesn’t have a point.”

 ***

Aliens
Client: ”I do not like the character, he is not alien looking.”
Me: ”So what do you have in mind.”
Client: ”How would I know? I have never seen an alien before.”

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"Staring at computer screens gives me nosebleeds. Please fax the website to me."
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"Did I hire you to be bound by what’s possible?"
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"I don’t want people in Mexico to see the website. I got myself into a little trouble down there, and I can’t let any of the authorities know where to track me down. Just MAKE SURE you don’t send it to Mexico, okay? Do this for me, guy."
***
"… And whenever anyone refreshes the page, the opening of “The Circle of Life” will play as loud as possible. Does anyone own rights to that song?"

More available on http://clientsfromhell.net/